i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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