There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
