Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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