Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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