she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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