you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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