He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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