eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
where are you?
Hypothermia
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
