We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
