we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
