I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
