Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
