ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
