4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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