Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
