No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
