then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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