is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
