new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
