I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
