I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
