I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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