the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
