Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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