if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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