yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
