If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
