i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
