doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I understand Curling. That high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
