i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the day after is always just damage control
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
