Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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