it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Boobs speak an international language.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
