playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
