Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
