i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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