Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
please come you make the beer taste better
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
