I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
