It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
pray to the hookup gods
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
