U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
