If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
