sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
