Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
