this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
