she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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