This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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