Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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