I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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