I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
