You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
