I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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