He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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