All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize
